what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My bed smells like the plague
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
