SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i think i scared a bird with my dick
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
