So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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