Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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