I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
