It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
