I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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