haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my hands just texted you
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
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