I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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