he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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