The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
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I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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