oh god the rape fog is back!
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
