Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Come back. Shots need mouths.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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