his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
