I'm pants shitting drunk right now
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
