god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
