don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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