It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
