sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize