am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
