If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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