My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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