no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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