saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
