Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
