He uses pillows to masturbate.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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