I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize