I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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