oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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