Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I enjoy the company of your penis
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
