The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
