i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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