im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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