He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
