my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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