that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
