the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
tell me about the fingering
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