Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
