dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
