i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
