This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
