His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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