dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
