I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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