This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
