i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
