Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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