Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Randomize
