I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
