tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize