ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
