Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
