don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
