my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Randomize
