are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
