It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
it glows. i had to have it.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
