I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
