Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
