a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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